Day 7
I finished my first week of Ideal Protein and had my first
weigh-in. I lost 10 pounds. And even though I know most of that is water weight
it was still a whopping 10 pounds that have been shed and no longer take up
residence on my body. Do you think I celebrated? Do you think I even for one
second stopped to pat myself on the back and feel a sense of accomplishment?
NOPE.
I got on the scale this morning and saw the drop and just
sighed. I sighed!!! Like a big ol’ dramatic sigh. I thought about how 3 years
ago when I had first attempted this program I STARTED at the weight I am today.
How really I made no progress, but was just back “in the black.” So I proceeded
to beat myself up for not only gaining back all the weight I had lost before,
but then for adding 10 horrible pounds on top of that.
THEN I proceeded to think about the big picture. My goal is
to lose 80 pounds. Yep, not a typo—80 (eighty) pounds. And in the grand scheme
of things, 10 pounds is just a tiny drop in the bucket. My journey is just beginning
and I have a LONG way to go…I felt overwhelmed and already defeated at the
thought of having 70 more pounds to go.
I know that the future weeks will see a much slower drop. I
doubt I’ll ever see such a fabulous loss along this journey. And yet I sit here
and feel sorry for myself and feel a sense of dread at having to keep at this
for several more months…This defeatist attitude is probably what got me here in
the first place. And it’s scary to think that 6 days of positive, go-get ‘em
attitude can be completely shattered in the matter of minutes—seconds—as I saw
that number appear on the scale. Maybe all that confidence and will power was
just an act? Maybe I’m not as strong as I think I am…
My friend, and “coach” along this journey was quick to celebrate
what I so quickly wanted to see as a tragedy. He helped me see that just like
in the Gospel of Jesus Christ we learn that when our sins are forgiven us the
Lord remembers them no more. We are completely clean: “Though your sins be as
scarlet, they shall be white as snow.” (Isaiah 1:18) We should also remember
them no more. But one of Satan’s greatest tools is to constantly drudge those
old sins and mistakes up and remind us of how awful and unworthy we are—when in
reality, in God’s eyes, we are forgiven.
I need to learn to let all that stuff go. I need to rejoice in where I
am now—realize that my journey started anew the day I decided to take back my
life. All that stuff that happened before? That’s the old weak me. Today I am a
new person—a better, healthier, 10 pounds lighter Carol.
Maybe I’ll believe it tomorrow…
2 comments:
10 lbs in 7 days!?!? That's amazing. Go to your fridge and take out a pound of butter... you lost 10 of those! Amazing!!!! Absolutely AWESOME! I'm discrediting your feelings though, I know exactly how you are feeling. All the words that you so eloquently put together are words that I have thought to myself before. And just think: you are 1/8 the way to where you want to be. And yes, you may not see that much of a drop, but the fractions can only get bigger from THAT fraction (which is not a small fraction at all.) I'm so proud of you! You're doing awesome. Don't beat yourself up about the past... you are now proactive about what you want in life and it's all going to come true! You're strong enough and intelligent enough to do this. Plus you have an amazing group of family and friends that are completely behind you. Love you friend, you're my hero!
You are doing great! If you pat yourself on the back @ say good job! You will feel better. You know who is bringing you down, right? Forget about the devil! You are doing a good thing for yourself & your family! I am rooting for you!
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