Tuesday, September 14, 2010

White Realization

So as I was leaving the library about two weeks ago with a sweet stash of books I glanced over to one of the little display tables and saw this book:

I have lived among White people all my life--I thought I knew what they liked, but also thought it would be interesting to see just how much of an expert I truly am.

As I began reading I found myself nodding my head a lot agreeing with what I was reading, and about half-way through the book I felt like I was hit in the face with a ton of bricks. "Why?" you ask? Cause I came to the stunning realization that according to this book I am a lot more White than I thought I was!!! I know my birth certificate states "Caucasian" as my race/ethnicity--a serious type-o if I ever saw one. But now that I've read this book I am beginning to seriously wonder if maybe I was adopted. According to the book, these are some of the things White people like that I do too:

  • farmer's markets
  • diversity
  • having Black friends
  • David Sedaris
  • '80's night
  • Arrested Development
  • plays
  • Whole Foods and other grocery co-ops
  • vintage
  • kitchen gadgets
  • documentaries
  • expensive sandwiches
  • study abroad
  • musical comedy
  • multilingual children
  • having gay friends
  • dinner parties
  • scarves
  • self-deprecating humor
  • integrity
  • pretending to be a Canadian when traveling abroad
  • high school English teachers
  • subtitles
  • platonic friendships
  • reusable shopping bags
  • acoustic covers
  • The Simpsons
  • avoiding confrontation
  • DJs
  • not having cash
  • eating outside
  • books
  • hardwood floors
  • bakeries
  • cheese
  • modern art museums
  • public transportation that is not a bus

I just hope my Mexican friends don't shun me and that my White friends will continue to embrace me.