Lola got off the bus a few weeks ago and the first thing she said to me as we were walking home was: "I've decided I'm going to date Oliver." in a matter-of-fact kinda way. I tried so hard not to react, but to just take this info in and to let her keep talking. So this is kinda the way our conversation went:
Me: So you're dating Oliver?
Lola: Yeah. Jillian said she was going to date him but then she changed her mind. So I think I will.
Me: Does Oliver know you are going to date him?
Lola: I think so. I don't know.
Me: Is Oliver nice?
Lola: Yeah I think he is. Joshua said Oliver was a stink-butt, but I don't think he is. He helped me up when I fell, so that's nice, right?
Me: Yes. That's nice. Are you going to tell dad?
Lola: Nuh-uh.
So a few weeks went by and it wasn't really spoken of again. Mind you, I should've seen this coming cause a week or so before this conversation she had mentioned to me that Oliver had been chasing her on the playground. Turns out, this chasing has happened pretty regularly, and when I asked Lola if Oliver ever caught her she answered "Yes" in a very timid sort of way. Then when I asked her what Oliver did after he caught her she responded that she didn't know...
I often hesistate to let Curran in on all this just cause he seems to overreact to anything that might remotely point to Lola actually being a girl and the fact that she is growing up and will one day notice boys and DATE them. He's been quite vocal about his objection to Lola marrying before he's in the grave and not dating till she's 40, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. But I tell him because I want him to know what Lola is experiencing. Except for last night...
She got off the bus after a 2 week fall break very happy. And as we were walking down the hill she says: "I need to tell you something but you might say 'eewww' when I tell you." My curiousity was piqued and I encouraged her to tell me anyway. So this is what I heard:
Lola: "I kissed Oliver twice today" (Hides face with her little hands)
Me: You did? Okay...ummm...where...did you...kiss...him?
Lola: (whispers) On the cheek and on the mouth...
At this point I don't know what to say. How do I convey to her how special her kisses are without making this huge deal about it. I know as a kindergartener it was completely innocent and that this is just how she shows affection, but I need to say something right? One of my biggest fears is that she will grow up way too soon. I want her to have an innocent childhood, and as my mind races to the future and I start to imagine her teenage years I begin to break out in a cold sweat, and try to calm myself by taking deep breaths, and making a mental note to check out boarding schools online.
We did have a little talk about it later, and I tried to keep it as casual as possible. She also did tell her dad about it even though she had earlier told me there was "no way" she would. Am I freaking out over nothing? Do I just let it go? I gotta be honest--I woke up in the middle of the night and my mind was just racing with what I should do/say. And then I would tell myself to do/say nothing for fear of making more of this than it really is. This is unchartered territory for me!
3 comments:
Um...YIKES. That's all I can say. Good luck with whatever you decide to do! (And may my girls never grow up.)
It's TOTALLY not a big deal. I kissed boys in kindergarten ... and you know all too well how I turned out. It's not sexual, so don't worry.
You know, I'd be pretty freaked out too. I ask Adalyn all the time about her friends at school and she only mentions the boys as being "funny". Although she did have a "boyfriend" in preschool, and when Ann told me that they were holding hands I had a huge pit in my stomach. I am sure we are overreacting, but they are just too little!!!!! Good luck and tell me you end up doing so I am prepared!!!
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