I just got back from a birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's. The moment the kids were invited I cringed. That place is every parent's nightmare, and yet somehow, it seems to be the "it" place for birthday parties (still). I thought these went out of fashion when the Pump it Ups and Houses of Bounce came into existence. Today I learned that I TOTALLY stand corrected.

I knew we were in trouble when we had to circle the parking lot multiple times to find a spot. Once we found a spot we were greeted by a line that went out the door--just to get in! Are you serious?! Once again, my spidey senses were telling me to RUN the heck out of there--to fake some kind of injury or ailment and drag my screaming children back to the car and to the safety of my cave-like apartment. But no, we waited, and waited, and waited. BTW, love how the red ropes and the teenage, pimple-ridden bouncer at the front of the line are meant to make you feel like you're getting into some posh Hollywood night club. They even have a clip board with a VIP list! I noticed how they sneered when I told them that the party we were attending was not "Chuck E. sanctioned," and was merely being held at a few booths in the outer limits of their exclusive VIP birthday lounge.

After they gave us our hand stamps to make us parents feel safe that no one will be able to walk out with our children--though there were a few times today I would have turned the other way had someone volunteered to take my sugar-laden children home with them--we proceeded to look for our party. We found it and both of my adorable children took off running in opposite directions. Good thing we had hand stamps! Never mind the pervs that could be lurking around eyeing my children, and pretending to be another frazzled parent. I panic in places like this! There is so much stinkin' sensory overload, and way too many funky smells around.

Lola would only resurface when she needed more tokens--and I only gave her one at a time--my way of keeping tabs on her. Noah was a different story all together. He wandered from game to game--asking for tokens at each one. He would insert the token, push a couple of buttons and then walk away while the game was still going. He also would sneak up behind kids while they were completely engrossed in their games and swipe their tickets, or join them in tossing balls or sit on their little ride--total free-loader and thief--made me proud.

Back to my ranting: there were lines for ALL the games--ALL. What is this place? Disneyland? There were also quite a few of these games that ate our tokens! Seriously lost quite a few, and I just felt like a fool looking for an employee in the sea of people to fetch me my lost token. I'm a grown woman for crying out loud! Not to mention that the minute you stepped away from a game there was someone right behind you waiting to take a turn. And speaking of being a grown woman--You would not believe the number of adults that were walking around flashing their wads of tickets, or playing these games--like with an intense, serious look on their face and all. I noticed this the last time I went to Chuck E Cheese's out in L.A. too. Some people take their ticket winning way too seriously and will beat you down if you even eye their monstrous pile of tickets funny. Really? This is how they choose to spend their time/money?It's the same feeling I get when I go to an amusement park and see grown men walking around flaunting their massive stuffed animals (that probably came from some sweat shop in China). News flash: There is no pride in you spending some ridiculous amount of money to win some cheap toy that is probably full of lead (cause you know how those Chinese are) and will most likely end up in a thrift store someday.

And don't even get me started on their pizza...If I ever run into that mouse in a dark alley he better run! I'm just saying...