Panic

I am awake at 4:30 in the freakin' a.m. Why, you ask? cause I came to the startling realization that I am getting fatter. I put my jeans on last night--the ones that not that long ago required me to wear a belt to hold them up. Aforementioned belt was not even needed--far from it. These "fat day" jeans were a tad bit snug on my surprisingly-expanding gut. And that's the funny part: It came as a total surprise! How did I not realize this would happen after the continuous party I've been having with my new-found amigos? How is it that at 4 am my eyes popped open with the stark realization that I was fatter? It came as such a shock that my little eyes (which may be the only thing little on me at the moment--besides my willpower, of course)would not shut. My mind started to race and I think I felt some heart palpitations--though that just may be due to the cake and cookies and ice cream I've been chowing down.

So what is my course of action now that the shock has subsided some? To sit my rotund self on the couch and blog about it, of course...and check my farm on FarmVille...cause that's what all healthy, active people do, right? I'm trying to figure out a plan. And now that the weather is getting warmer I will be left with minimal excuses--but trust me, I'll still find some. Usually episodes like this in my life begin with me being in total denial--walking by the scale a million times a day but refusing to weigh myself to avoid the harsh reality of my fatness. But I'm making progress! I gave myself a little pep-talk as I was lying there awake instead of telling myself what a failure I am, and I walked to the scale to confront that number and know exactly what I'm up against. Good news: It's not as bad as I thought. Bad news: I may lose my friends over this cause I learned last night they only like me for my food...