Sick Time Reflections

I wanted to record what has happened the last couple of days before I forget how grateful I am for all that I have. I've had a lot of time to reflect the last few days because I was practically bed-ridden with the nastiest case of the flu I have ever had--this was worse than when I had Pneumonia, or either one of my c-sections. I don't remember feeling so much pain before--ever--well, except for when I had my eyebrows threaded--that flippin' hurts!

I was in pain for 3 full days, and most of the hours of those said days were filled with either whining to my husband or in prayer to my Heavenly Father. It was during one of those moments of prayer that I began to think about all the things I am unhappy with as far as my physical appearance goes. I'm always complaining about one thing or another--my fatness, my eyebrows, plucking hairs from places I've never had to before, my skin--you get the picture, and I began to realize how petty I can be sometimes--how I can let something as insignificant as my hair bother me so much. All I kept thinking was how I had failed in being grateful for the body I do have--a body, that when all things are considered, is in pretty good shape--a body that has the ability to move--to chase after my kids and clean up after them.

Oh how grateful I am now for what Heavenly Father has blessed me with. Being sick is such a humbling experience--especially for someone like me who finds it extremely difficult to ask for help. I did find comfort from the Lord. I knew no one could offer that like He could. I'm thankful that Curran is a worthy priesthood holder, and for the blessing he gave me when I thought I couldn't take the pain anymore. He stepped in, and took over, and I know how tough this must have been having just come home from working in San Diego, but he did it and never complained.

Monday morning I woke up and felt significantly better, but still a bit weak. Curran took the day off to make sure we were okay, and I'm glad he did cause soon after waking the kids began to complain about not feeling well and within minutes we discovered we had two new flu patients to deal with.

Herein lies the other great lesson I learned--having to nurse your children back to health has got to be one of the most heart-wrenching things. In a lot of ways I felt helpless. I was doing all I could to comfort them, but I just knew it wasn't enough. I would see them in pain and wanted nothing more than to take their illness from them and make it mine. Once again I found my time spent in constant prayer. I know the pain that Jesus Christ felt in the garden of Gethsemane was a million times worse than what my kids were feeling, but I've got to imagine that my feelings were like that of Heavenly Father at that moment when his Son was in the most agonizing pain. What parent out there wouldn't trade places with their child when their child is hurting?

This morning they woke up and Noah couldn't hold still long enough for me to take his temperature. Lola came out of her room with her giant bag of art supplies and a clean stack of paper and instantly got to work making masterpieces for me. That was all I needed to know that they were feeling much better. I reflected on the sight before me and thanked God for the mess that was slowly beginning to accumulate around me.

I know I will forget this lesson soon--which is why I wanted to blog about it now. But after the last few days we have had I will gladly take a jam-packed day of activities and errands, messes and laundry, cooking and bath time over any of the sick days we have just lived through. And along those same lines, I would take my loud, messy, crazy, tornado-like children who scream and laugh and run through the house like banshees over the sick ones any day. So next time I'm getting ready to complain about the mess or the noise I will pause and think about just how grateful I am for the life I have. Take THAT stinkin' flu!!!